A headstone is cleaned with plain water and a soft brush, once or twice a year, often in the days before the family's usual visit. Bleach, a pressure washer and a wire brush are the three things a stone-conservation guide from the French Ministry of Culture lists explicitly as practices to avoid. And in most cemeteries, the upkeep of the grave falls to the family, not to the cemetery.
Cleaning a headstone, step by step
What to bring: a bucket of water, a soft-bristled brush, a hand brush, a wooden or plastic scraper, pruning shears. No cleaning product is needed: the guide recommends washing "with plain water". Allow about an hour for a simple grave.
- Clear dead leaves and plant debris, and sweep off the dust. This is the most useful step, and the only one to do often.
- Clean under planters and plaques. Water collects underneath, and that is where the stone deteriorates first.
- Wash sparingly with plain water and a soft brush, no bleach. "Sparingly" is the guide's own word: water itself damages stone when you use too much.
- Scrape moss off dry, with the scraper, never with metal.
- Cut ivy and shrubs at the base of the roots, and leave them until the plant dies. Do not pull them out: the roots take pieces of stone with them.
- For algae and lichen, the guide recommends an off-the-shelf biocide based on quaternary ammonium: two or three applications a day apart, in dry weather, then dry brushing once the growth has died. Repeat every two years, ideally in spring.
These steps come from a short guide for people who want to look after a grave, published in June 2011 by France's historic monuments research laboratory (LRMH) and available online, reread on October 18, 2026. The stone does not know which country it is in.
Three things that damage a headstone
Water under pressure breaks the stone down: a pressure washer strips the surface along with the moss.
Bleach gives an instant result, but attacks stone and metal. As it reacts, it forms sodium chloride, ordinary salt, which stays trapped in the stone: no amount of rinsing gets it out. When the salt crystallizes, the damage is permanent. It is the product people most readily take to the cemetery, and it is the worst.
A wire brush scratches the stone. A scratch cannot be undone.
Granite, marble, soft stone: the difference that matters
The useful test is not the trade name of the stone but how porous it is. Low-porosity, hard stones (dark, speckled, able to take a polish) are used for most recent headstones and tolerate washing with water well. Marble belongs to this family but is far less resistant: it is the surface where an acidic or chlorine-based product does the most harm.
Porous, soft stones (beige, pink or gray, with no polish) soak up whatever you pour on them. On those, stick to dry brushing. On any stone, plain water and a soft brush are never wrong.
When to go
The busiest days in a cemetery are the ones everyone visits at once: a holiday, All Saints' Day where that is the custom, a local remembrance day. Going a week earlier gives you time to clean in peace and to bring flowers afterward: clean first, then place the flowers, so they are not soaked or splashed.
For the rest of the year, upkeep should be "light, regular and measured", in the guide's own conclusion. One visit in spring for the plants, one in autumn for the leaves, and that is it. A headstone outdoors will never look new, and that is not the goal: upkeep is there to preserve the monument, not to make it shine.
What is not for the family to do
Some damage needs a conservator or a monument mason: hard black crusts, cracks caused by rusting metal pins, stone crumbling into grains, corroded metal, broken enamel photographs. The inside of a family vault or mausoleum, which has to be opened, is also a job for the mason.
Who is responsible for a grave?
Usually the family, and this is rarely said plainly. In most cemeteries, the cemetery owns and maintains the grounds (paths, boundaries, common areas), while the headstone belongs to the family, and so does its upkeep. Some cemeteries sell perpetual care or maintenance plans; read what they actually cover, because it is often the grass rather than the stone.
What happens to a grave nobody looks after also depends on the cemetery. Some can remove an unsafe headstone or lay it flat; some can, after a long time, take back an abandoned plot. The cemetery rules say what applies, and the cemetery office can tell you who holds the rights to a grave.
When the grave is too far away
That is the most common situation. Three kinds of people can help: monument masons in the area, companies that specialize in grave care, and sometimes the cemetery itself, for a fee. Prices vary from one provider to the next.
When you ask for a quote, have them spell out what "cleaning" covers (dry brushing, washing, biocide treatment, weeding), whether flowers are included, and ask for before and after photos. Pay nothing without a written quote. Marking the day from a distance is a subject of its own: see paying your respects from far away.
If there is a QR code on the stone
The same rules apply, only stricter: clean it with water and by hand, never with a stiff brush or a pressure washer. The details are in how long an outdoor QR code lasts. Adding a photograph or a new name to the stone has its own pages: a photo on a headstone and adding a name to a headstone.
