To create an online memorial, start by gathering a few photos, the dates and a sentence or two about them, then decide three things: public or protected, who can post on it, and who manages it with you. The page then fills up with help from others, once you share its link with family and friends, not in one evening, alone at a screen. Before choosing a service, three questions are enough: how long the page stays online, what you get back if the service closes, and who can edit it.
What to gather before you start
Not much, and none of it needs to be complete:
- Their name and dates of birth and death, written the way you want to see them.
- A portrait photo, sharp, facing the camera if possible. It is the one shown at the top of the page and when the link is shared.
- Ten or so photos to begin with. The rest will come from family and friends, who have pictures you have never seen.
- Two or three sentences about them: what they did, where they lived, what people remember. A passage from the obituary or the eulogy works very well.
- A list of people to tell, including those who did not make it to the funeral.
Videos, voice recordings and the music they listened to can be added later. Waiting until you have everything is often how a page never gets started.
Three decisions to make
Public or private. A public page opens for anyone who has the link. A private page asks for a password, which you pass on to family and friends. A public page suits someone with a wide circle (colleagues, a club, neighbors); a private one suits a family that wants to keep it among themselves.
Who can post. There are usually three levels: visitors, who leave a message; invited family and friends, who add photos and memories; and administrators, who manage everything. Decide who belongs where before you send the links.
Who manages it with you. Do not do it alone. A brother, a cousin, a child who could take over the page in twenty years: if you are the only one who can edit it, it depends on your email address and on your remembering the password.
The steps, in order
- Create the page with the name, the dates, the portrait and the short introduction. Ten minutes.
- Add the first photos and one or two written memories, so the page is not empty when others open it.
- Invite two or three people to contribute before sharing it widely. A page where several voices answer each other reads differently from an album posted by one person.
- Share the link: in the message announcing the death, in the thank-you cards, on the grave with a QR code.
- Come back on the dates that matter: the anniversary, a birthday, a photo you have just found. A page only stays alive if someone comes back to it.
What keeps a page alive two years on
A page filled in one go and then left alone becomes a shop window: people look at it once. The ones that last have three things in common. They are open to contributions: family and friends add what they have, a message, a photo, a story. They are easy to find: a link kept in a family group chat, a QR code on the grave. And someone comes back on set dates, which brings the others back too.
The condolence messages you received can find a place there: see the funeral guest book.
Three questions to ask any service
How long does the page stay online? A free service rarely pays for hosting over decades, and a subscription stops with the last payment. Ask for a duration in writing, and what happens when it runs out. See how long an online memorial stays online, and for the cost, free or paid online memorial.
What do you get back if the service closes? Companies in this sector have already shut down and taken their customers' pages with them. Look for a button that downloads everything (original photos, writing, messages) and try it. See what happens if the memorial company shuts down.
Who can edit the page? Check that you can have more than one administrator, that each person can correct or remove what they posted, and that an inappropriate message can be deleted.
An example: a forevr memorial
This is the approach forevr takes. Creating a memorial costs nothing for fourteen days, with no account: time to fill the page in together before deciding. The page can be public or protected by a password. Visitors leave a message or light a candle without an account; family and friends invited by link add photos and memories, and keep control over what they posted; an administrator link can be shared so you are not managing it alone. Administrators can download an archive of all the content at any time. Activation is a single payment, from €19, with no subscription, and includes three QR stickers for the grave, guaranteed for 10 to 30 years depending on the plan, free replacement included.
The other ways of marking these first weeks are gathered in the main guide to paying tribute.
