Condolence message template
People freeze in front of a condolence message — not for lack of feeling, but for fear of getting it wrong. The result is almost always the same: a ready-made formula, one of the twenty the grieving person will receive.
This tool writes three messages for your situation: who you are to the person grieving, who they have lost, and how you will send it. One plain, one that names the person who died, one that offers concrete help. Take the one that sounds like you.
よくあるご質問
What do you say to someone who has just lost someone?
As few formulas as possible, and as much precision as you can manage. “My condolences” on its own is the line people receive twenty times and say did nothing for them. Name the person who died, say one concrete thing, or offer specific help — the three messages here follow those three routes.
Should you name the person who died?
Almost always, yes. Many people avoid it for fear of reopening the wound; the bereaved tend to say the opposite, and their real fear is that the name disappears from conversation. If you knew it, write it.
How long should a condolence message be?
In person, two sentences are enough and people always say too much. In a text, three or four. On a card you can go further and sign off with something affectionate. The tool adapts the length to how you're sending it.
How do you offer help without being intrusive?
By making it concrete. “Let me know if you need anything” puts the work on the grieving person, who will never ask. “I can come round, do a shop, or be at the end of the phone” can be answered yes or no — and leaves the door open if no answer comes.
What if you didn't know the person who died?
Say so plainly, and write about the person grieving rather than the one who died. An honest message is worth more than a borrowed tribute, which is heard as borrowed straight away.
さらに読む
- What to write in a sympathy cardShort messages that do not sound hollow, plus what to do when you barely knew the person.
What to say to someone who has just lost someoneThe sentences that help, the ones that do harm, and why saying nothing is the worst of the options.
The funeral guest book: what it is really forWhy the book of condolences matters more than families expect, and how to get something out of it.
Thank-you notes after a funeralWho to write to, when, and three short templates that do not sound like a form letter.
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